#(also I can't sleep)
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After so long of not being able to use my fridge normally, because there was so much spoiled food I was afraid to touch, it feels weird and exciting to have a fridge that really has edible food inside.
Okay, the jar of pickles is slightly suspicious, but only slightly. And other than that, everything is good. No moldy food. Nothing's rotten. Nothing with concerningly high alcohol content.
Yes, the fridge still requires good cleaning, but I can now use it normally!
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Today I learned that one of the peeps at my ward is the weed dealer of two of my former roommates. The world is a small place lmao
#personal posts#tw drugs mention#psych ward blogging#Also I can't sleep#So I very quietly unloaded the dishwasher and made myself a instant soup and tea#been quietly switching between sitting in the group room and the smoker room#I smoked 40 cigarettes today#I'm Coping ™️#life is a mess#but hey#I'm still here#and plans are being made to move back into assisted living#(also I already spent half of my money for this month and literally can't remember what on)
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apparently I can only get stuff done at 3 am...learning a lot
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I hate being sick even more now than I did before my brain surgery, because while I was at the hospital my nose was stuffy because of how high the AC was. So, now whenever I breathe in with my stuffy nose, for a second I feel like I'm back at the ward with a stitched up neck.
As a side effect I crave chocolate pudding because one of the employees in charge of feeding the patients, whenever she was making her evening rounds she'd be like "here's a treat for you" and give me chocolate pudding (actually 2 of them on the first day that I could eat). I would have gotten the pudding anyways, but her calling it a treat made it feel way better. I hope she's doing well.
Anyway yeah now that my nose is stuffy and I feel sick I wish I could have a chocolate pudding, but I don't have any, can't walk to the store and don't want to ask my parents to bring me some because I get the feeling that when they told me to call if I needed anything, they meant like cleaning or buying necessary stuff. I think I'll buy some when I get better, though
#not art#text post#Also I can't sleep#It's more annoying than anything else tbh#Like being sick in general#And pain too#If it's not debilitatingly severe I'm like “ugh can we get this over with?��#I don't think that's a good mindset to have about your body being in pain#But at the same time it was necessary for my survival to develop that mindset because of the chronic headaches#But now that those have mostly let up I'm just left with this weird toughguy mindset#Maybe I'll get better at seeing sickness and pain as temporary and rare states where you need to be kind to yourself with time#Anyways I'm gonna go make myself some porridge if I can finally get the Jam jar lid open
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Me seeing this at 3:20am when I'm having insomnia.
Self Aware! Simon who is watching you stay up late on your phone with a small frown at the fact he can't do anything about
Oh what he would do to help you fall asleep
Wrapping his arms around you, making sure you felt safe and secure, making you fall asleep, making you feel loved- oh how he wanted nothing more than that
Part of him wanting to put something up on your tumblr; a fake ad of some random company telling you to go to sleep
but he knows you wouldn't listen to it, so instead he's popping this up on your dash and hoping that maybe you'll listen to him this time
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#cod#simon riley#cod headcanons#cod ghost#bro stop stalking me#also i can't sleep#i think i had too much caffeine today#insomnia#now i just want to write#but i have an appointment in the morning
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Okay consider this a ladies only shipping call
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Gonna replace my eyeballs with corks.. Maybe that way I'll stop crying so much.
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Unintended consequence of creating my own Bill... He watches me draw now...
The Horrible Triangle in question:
#On the 3d glasses: it's exposure therapy and even if it wasnt: I can't break the geneva convention because I'm not at war. Anyway#i think this is the first billford kiss ive posted??? Which is hilarious. Ive done a lot of on these guys that I've drawn but not posted#genuinely i will be drawing and suddenly remember he is behind me. He initially watched me sleep but its safer on the shelf#his prototype brother still watches my bed tho. So while HE is Safe. I Am Not.#Gravity falls#Fan art#Bill Cipher#Comic#Doodles#Silly posting#custom plush#Gravity falls comic#Gravity falls fanart#Fanart#Billford#Ford pines my beloved. i am never giving you a break sorry#tbob / thisisnotawebsite lore my beloved also. giving him those 3d glasses is fun :)#cw eye contact#GF fanart#artists on tumblr#My art
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Collection of bg3 sketches I've been nibbling at over the month. teehee
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanart#astarion#karlach#shadowheart#gale dekarios#tav#orin the red#bg3 tav#oc.nawen#I'm soooo normal about these characters like so so normal not obsessed w them at all#still upset u can't sleep w orin tho#you can sleep w mizora but not w her??? I've never been so heartbroken#ALSO I've had to reject gale after astarion confesses his feelings and oh my god#he looked at me with the hugest roundest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen#I still feel bad abt it tbh#the image of him looking at me like that. burned into my mind#sleepyscribble
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you know what boils my blood.
over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."
i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.
but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.
today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.
the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.
so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.
#zee rambles#this isn't to guilt trip anyone#but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever#and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it#now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people#but that doesn't mean its gone#that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it#honestly i just needed a lil rant#and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it#also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd
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anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)
#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan and phil#phan#smosh#anthony padilla#mine#my content#hi sorry i can't get a hold of the person who shared this clip with me so i don't feel comfortable posting it in full#however i'm not a good enough person to Not Gif It#so here u go here's a bit of it in gif form lol#i'm going to sleep i'm sure by the time i wake up the full video will be up#oh also oh my god this clip gives me such super amazing project vibes i almost cried#ok. anyway. it's 8:20am. im drunk still. goodnight im finally going to bed x
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NEW BIRTHDAY THEME IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
BIRTHDAY SLUMBER PARTY, HERE WE COME
I think the theme is more loungewear than straight-up pajamas, but hey, I'm not complaining! (and -- look, we still have the groovies, I'm not giving up hope for animal kigurumi until I gotta)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#kutsurogi my room#put on the onesie jamil#man i am absolutely LIVING for jamil's adorable embroidered throw pillows#just offscreen is the wall decal that says 'bless this mess'#gosh though i am ready for a year of COMFY BOYS#does this mean we're going to get some kind of canon confirmation about whether or not malleus needs special pillows to sleep#yes PLEASE#god. i can't decide which would be funnier: mal in sweatpants and a vintage gargoyles (1994) t-shirt#or mal in a full victorian-style striped sleep set complete with nightcap that has a pompom on the end#that jiggles up and down with every HONK mimimimi#(this is probably also what riddle sleeps in tbh)#(ace can't even make fun of him because it's just too on the nose)#and hey twst as long as i have your ear APPARENTLY#i want that halloween event to be real and i want a lilia for it please and thank you 🙏#i know it's not his turn for a halloween card but c'mon. pretty please.#i am asking so nicely
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on to the next gift wip
#rug hooking#fabrication#wip#purely personals#don't mind the really warm lighting haha#had to undo most of the face/head the first time because something wasn't working out#as well as the paws but a lot happier with how it looks now#also discovered the delight of using extremely uneven chunky yarn#scrubs hands over yarn loops every time I trim off the extra yarn tails sticking out hahhkjfd#can't really go to sleep yet so have this wip
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ppl mad at lando for saying he still gets nervous before quali and can't eat all Sunday cause nervy from the pressure, cause this isn't champion mentality cause you won't hear schumacher/hamilton/max saying it, or that he's sympathy baiting in the fastest car... but like. James Hunt would vomit before races. Nico only compulsively ate potatoes on Sunday. it's a nerve wracking sport! why does the champion/winning mentality only have be in 1 form (that is stringently stereotypically masculine)?
#i have insane. anxiety inducing stage fright. i am also a public speaker#I can't sleep the night before any performance and it's compulsively practicing my speech and timing it#like its HORRIBLE. but I bet ppl coming up to me asking how i do it and its. im doing it scared!#as long as you perform what's wrong w admitting it makes you nervous#lando norris
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To relive a death
@williamvapespeare commissioned me to draw anything with the boys being gentle to each other and Edwin comforting Charles in general, so we went with this!
The idea of a character who is dead having to go through it once a year is very dear and near to my heart (how many dead blorbos do you have, I hear you ask. Too many) but at least these two have each other
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#i imagine it's not as bad for edwin#maybe he gets a little bit sleepy and his wrists hurt where he was restrained#perhaps he can't talk? since i think he had something in his mouth? can't remember#and of course he can only appear with his sleeping clothes#which is a bad reminder of hell#but other than that#it's not as bad as internal bleeding and hypothermia as far as manifestations of your trauma go#i mean he can at least do something other than shiver#also i once wrote a fic for a different fandom with this whole premise. still proud of that one#(it was j*dtavius)#censoring it so this doesn't appear in the tag lol#anyway what do you think they're reading? do they pick a different book each year or do they always read the same one?
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I mean
I'm not wrong?
#francis mosses#thats not my neighbor#tnmn#Kisses for all the artists who draw him as the pathetic middle aged guy he is#Mwah mwah#But like i see this so often#It's mainly the Doppelgänger fanarts who are like crazy yandere-fied#Which idm they're supposed to be that way i think#But like there's so much fanfic with this guy being the absolutes 'alpha male' ever#Which is so funny cause look at him#He just wants to sleep#Also can't believe that these shitposts do better than my actual art
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